The Genesis

This is it. The start. The beginning. My first post.

Likely you wonder what this blog is all about. We'll discover together.

I'm an American. Southern. White male. Politically conservative leaning. Religiously-speaking, a Protestant Christian; some would say fundamentalist. The last child in a family of seven. Middle class. Well educated. Professional. Single parent. And gay.

There is enough in that paragraph to make anyone dismiss me and anything I may have to say out-of-hand. And, surely, there are more than a few who would conclude that I've already violated the premise of this blog...honesty. After all, how can a Christian be gay? How can a gay man be politically conservative? How can a Southerner be well educated?!

That is, if you judge the worth of others by labels.

You need to know the above so that you have some feel for my perspective. For how I see the world and our place in it. Our location, environment and daily relationships influence so heavily how we think, act and understand the world around us. Thus, you need to know some of the influences on me.

The greatest influence on me, not surprisingly, was my parents. They're both dead now...killed tragically in separate accidents (but that's a topic, perhaps, for another day). They tried to be the best people they knew to be. Both were hard working, honest, and valued their good names. They grew up during the Great Depression and were characteristically influenced by it. Both were raised in Christian homes, albeit both far from ideal environments. Mom's childhood was the most interesting. (Again, a story for another post.)

Mom and Dad taught us right from wrong and did their best to live the right. They were good and consistent role models. Affectionate. Willing but not overly quick to praise. Willing but not overly harsh to discipline. Consistency characterized everything about them. As did their love for each other, their children and others. They were, as we say, "salt of the earth" kind of people. They made me proud to be their son.

I realize what a tremendous advantage this was to me. Several of my closest friends come from shockingly abusive homes, had parents who were neglectful or parents who were the best intentioned but just didn't know how to give their kids what they needed. It has been an awakening for me to come to understand how different my childhood was from so many others, and how blessed.

In a recent conversation with my partner, Josh, I observed that I didn't learn how to recognize or effectively cope with manipulative behavior by others. I couldn't predict or defend against it. I found myself surprised when others practiced skillful deceit. (Lying I knew about, and had practiced. But deceit through cunning, calculation and duplicity -- that was foreign and unfamiliar.) In adulthood, I was having to learn to accept that some people simply live by deceit and manipulation because that was how they were raised and they know no other way to live. I observed to Josh that I was so thankful that I was having to learn to recognize and cope with manipulation and deceit rather than learn how to love someone else. The advantage of being taught all my life how to love was mine.

To love another and see and seek the best in them is natural for me. To forgive usually comes pretty easy. And it's no credit to me; it's a credit to my parents, our friends and extended family. I can learn to recognize and defend against manipulation and deceit much more easily than another can learn, as an adult, to love selflessly. And that explains so much for me about certain relationships in my life.

Relationships that I've struggled to understand, pained to figure why someone behaves the way they do and makes the conscious decisions that they do. Decisions that predictably harm themselves as much and, usually, more than others. Self-destructive decisions that make no rational sense. Decisions borne out of warped life perspectives modeled and learned. Perspectives of cynicism, suspicion and distrust, insecurity, fault, blame and defensiveness; bitterness, rage, unforgiveness; victimhood.

I've seen these things up close, though am blessed not to be possessed by them. We are all tempted by each from time to time. And we all succumb in varying degrees on occasion. But for such perspectives to be our "normal" condition...how tragic! How much pain! What absence of joy, what slavery. Oh, that everyone who has been taught to see the world and all in it as suspect would learn a new way! Oh, that a Genesis would destroy the evil done and create new minds of love, joy and hope.

God, work in each of us the Genesis we need. Bring others into our lives who would be agents of unconditional love. Help us to love and forgive others, this Easter season and always, as you love and forgive each of us.