Grace: No Greater Love

In his book, The Grace Awakening, Charles Swindoll describes biblical grace as being like the man who, instead of pursuing vengence against his young son's murderer or even of insisting on lawful justice, pleads for the murderer's pardon, completely forgives him, takes him into his own home and adopts him as his own son.

Crazy? It certainly seems so to us. But isn't Dr. Swindoll correct?

Consider the example of King David. Saul did everything in his power to prevent David from succeeding him on the throne. He repeatedly tried to kill David. Despite David's uncompromising loyalty and his uncommon love for Saul's son, Jonathan, Saul sought to destroy his most successful soldier, most selfless servant, and most submissive subject. Following Saul's death and that of his three sons, David became king. Saul's relatives fled in fear of their lives. Jonathon's son, Mephibosheth, a babe crippled by a fall as his nurse stole him away in panic, lived for years in self-imposed obscurity, every day fearful of discovery.

David did learn of and find Mephibosheth. He had Mephibosheth brought before him and Mephibosheth trembled in fear. Laying prostrate before the king, the crippled and broken Mephibosheth resigned himself to his unavoidable fate.

David ordered that all of Saul's former property be given to Mephibosheth. And he invited Mephibosheth to dine with him in the palace as his honored guest as often as possible.

What had Mephibosheth done to deserve this? Nothing. What could he do to repay the king for his kindness and generosity? Nothing. What did Mephibosheth have to do to keep the king's favor? Nothing.

David didn't do what he did for Mephibosheth's sake. He did it for Jonathon's sake...the one he loved and who's love was better than that of a wife.

Had the child's murderer done anything to merit the father's forgiveness, much less his love and adoption? No way! But that's what grace is...unmerited favor. It can't be earned. It's not deserved. It's not at all fair. It is beyond fair...crazy beyond!

It's what every Christian has received from God...not for our sakes, but for the sake of Jesus who loved us so much that he died in our place to pay the price for our sins so that we may be adopted as sons and daughters of God, brothers and sisters to Jesus. "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me! I was was lost, but now am found; was blind but now I see."

I often remind myself of my need to forgive others because of the forgiveness I've received from God. As difficult as that sometimes is, God's spirit within me, tells me it is the proper and godly response. Even more difficult for me, however, is to accept that beyond forgiveness, I should give others grace...unmerited favor, acceptance and love...regardless of what they may have done, regardless whether I think they'll appreciate it or not; regardless whether I believe it will have any transformative effect in their lives or not. It's not for me to pursue spiritual justice against others. It's not for me to judge others at all. God calls me only to love others -- even as much as I love myself. And the greatest expression of love I can give another is to extend God's grace. As crazy as it may seem. No matter how stupid I may look in the eyes of others, even in the eyes of my recipient. It is what God has done for me. If I am to be like him, faithful and obedient to him, it is what I must do for others.

Imagine what our lives would be like were we to extend to one another true grace. What would our families and churches and friendships be like? How would be our witness the world...to non-Christian relatives, friends, co-workers and church members?

Lord, help us to extend to others the grace you extend to us. Help us to love others as you love us. Show us how and when we can give grace to others and give us enough love and gratitude to you to obediently act in your will. Grow us into your image, and to you be all the glory, honor and praise. Amen.

My Kingdom for a Church!

The kids and I have been looking for a new church for some months now. The one we had been attending (for two years) was very large and the kids never wanted to participate in programs or activities. Alternating weekly between there and their mom's church didn't help. Basically, it was the size of the congregation that put off the older kids, particularly.



Of course, there's also the issue of that church believing that homosexuality is a chosen sin. That prevented Josh from worshiping with us...all of us as a family.



So I searched for churches and denominations in our community that don't believe being gay is such a big deal. There are a lot of churches in our town. There are few that do not condemn gays.



There was the non-denominational, spiritual journey church where worshippers are encouraged to seek oneness with the divine and where the associate pastor prayed to "the gods." My thirteen year old son went with me on that visit. He voiced my sentiments when we left more politely than I probably would have, simply saying, "That was interesting."



We can't go to the "gay" church because...well...it's the "gay" church. It wears its gayness on the choir robe stoles, on banners behind the pulpit, and in the content of most sermons producing, in my experience, services more about the gay congregants than about God or the gospel of Jesus. Because it is so "gay in your face," were we to take the kids, they would unquestionably freak out.



Baptist, of course, is out. As is Methodist and the local Lutheran, Presbyterian and Brethren churches. The non-denominational church that meets in the local movie theatre is extreme contemporary and about rocked my kids out of their deep, soft stadium seats. We're not Catholic, so no help there. The Episcopal church is gay friendly, but "high" church has not been part of our experience and we're hesitant about that.



I did find the Disciples of Christ (Christian Church) on line and learned that many of its congregations are gay friendly. One is close to home, so we've been visiting there for a few months. Josh and I decided that the kids and I would visit first and get a feel for the place and then, if it seemed friendly, he would join us.



We have several friends who go there, it turns out. A couple who know about us, and a couple who do not. Everyone has been more than gracious and welcoming to the kids and me. People adore the picture of a single dad getting multiple children up and out for church faithfully -- and such well behaved children, too! I know though one of our friends, that the pastor believes homosexuality is a sin. I've wanted to talk to him and just ask him up front whether the church would welcome us as active members. We scheduled a lunch and had to cancel due to a snowstorm. We've not rescheduled yet.



It's an amazingly complicated thing finding a church home as a gay Christian. Especially as one who does not want to be deceptive about his sexuality. I've been told I'm not a Christian because I'm gay. The rationale was that were I truly saved, I would not be living in a pattern and persistent state of sin. The same person who explained this to me saw no inconsistency in his conviction that other persistent sins did not prevent one from receiving God's gift of salvation.

Somewhere, in the Church's zeal to uphold moral values, it's become legalistic, adding rules and conditions and conduct-based standards to the simple gospel of faith...the gospel that frees us from bondage to sin to what? Bondage to rules and restrictions; to other's expectations and demands? To "good Christian" values and norms that exclude anyone who refuses to comply? If so, then why accept Christ's offer of freedom? Why exchange one bondage for another?

Oh, that the Church would welcome all those who sincerely seek to worship our creator, savior and Lord, Jesus Christ! Oh, that it would not exclude those Christ does not exclude and that it would welcome all who seek Him to find Him in their midst, in their hearts and in their arms!

All we want to do is worship and serve with our brothers and sisters in Christ. All we seek is a church family where we can be received as believers, not as gay or straight, liberal or conservative, fundamentalist or whatever. Just as fellow believers saved by grace and doing the best we can to love and follow Jesus the best we know how.

My kingdom for such a church!

I Wonder

As Christians, we strive to live up to the example of Jesus. He's our model. Our standard.

We never do, of course -- meet the standard. We fall short. And whether some of us arguably come up shorter than others doesn't matter. We're all sinners and only saved by grace, not by works lest any of us should boast.

As our existence is all about relationships -- ours with God, ours with one another. Relationships is one of the greatest areas of difficulty and of shortcoming in our lives.

We're all guilty. We all fail in relationships from time to time. Thankfully, most of us have relationships that can and do survive failure. They endure hurts. Sometimes, our relationships grow stronger despite failures and hurts.

When I'm alone in the quiet, I wonder how Jesus would relate to me were he with my physically. I wonder how he would treat me. Would he condemn me? Would he be embarrassed that I call myself by his name? Would he deny me? Would he be kind to me? Would he show me love and extend to me fellowship regardless what others may say?

The Bible tells us how Jesus treated the outcasts of his day. The tax collectors, the adulterers, the poor and the diseased. It also tells us how he treated the proud and the self-righteous, the judgmental and the oppressive.

Can we treat one another as Jesus treated others? Is it possible for us through His spirit that is in us?

Jesus told us to follow his example. Would he tell us to do that if it were impossible?

A big difference I find in myself and Jesus is the way in which we attempt to influence others to change. All too often I try by telling someone how they are wrong, destructive or deficient. Sometimes I become passive-aggressive. Occasionally I wait until I can take no more and then I explode in righteous indignation.

I've watched others try guilt or shame to influence someone to change. Perhaps even worse is when we turn our backs on someone until and unless they change...we disassociate with them, perhaps even encourage others to do the same.

Jesus didn't do any of that, did he? He showed people unconditional love and respect. The only people he was harsh with and did not treat with respect were those who not only denied him, but opposed him and did so in the name of God his father. When he confronted those whom the community condemned a "sinner" he reached out to them in fellowship. He ate with tax collectors. He allowed a sinful woman to wash his feet. He welcomed known "sinners" to travel with him and minister to his physical needs. His example was more about caring for the person than about their actions...particularly those in their past! He focused on the heart and not the deeds. Jesus modeled to us that the way to reach people and to influence them to turn their hearts to God is to love and respect them.

His first words to Zacchaeus: "Zacchaeus, come down at once. I must stay at your house today." (Luke 19:5, NRLV) Not "Sinner, repent and be baptised!"

His words to the adulterous woman caught in the act and brought to him for judgement: "Hasn't anyone found you guilty?...Then I don't find you guilty either....Go now and leave your life of sin." (John 7: 10,11) Not "You've sinned and you're going to hell unless you repent."

To the woman at the well who'd had five husbands and was living with a man out of marriage, Jesus violated multiple religious and cultural taboos and spoke to her in public. He engaged her as someone worthy and revealed the saving truth of his identity to her. He did not condemn her or lecture her. He showed her what she needed to accept, not what she needed to reject.

Don't misunderstand. Jesus' will for all of these people was that they live lives honoring and obedient to God. He wanted them to seek him with all of their hearts, without reservation, without condition. But he knew (and he left a lesson for us) that we are created to be loved and respected...in the image of God whom, above all else, we were created to love and respect. Jesus worked to reach hearts first and minds second. We (I) tend to reverse that order. And usually with predictable results.

So, can we follow Jesus' example and reach out to "sinners" and outcasts? Can we associate with them in public and focus on their hearts rather than their reputations, social status or how we think doing so will affect opinions of ourselves? Are we willing to invest ourselves, our time and our energy to learn and connect with people's hearts before we try to change their minds or their behaviors? Will we see people as unique, priceless creations of the same God who created us and whom he loves as much as us, rather than label them as part of some group and stereotype them accordingly?

I have to believe that Jesus wants us to. And I'm convinced he's ready and willing -- and eager -- to help us.

Do we even want him to? Will we ask him to? Will we allow him to?

I wonder.